Korea in less than a month! Woot who wouldn't be excited to get out of here? I know I am, for more reasons than one..... Even in all this excitement, I'm having a hard time establishing the feeling of complete bliss that one should feel when a chance like this falls in there lap. I really don't know how to feel, and that bothers me a lot. I would be lying if I said one of the factors of going there was for a boy. I find myself questioning my choice in going to Korea based on this one guy. Perhaps its my conscious telling me to take a chance, or perhaps its something that's beyond even me. All I know is that I'm meant to do this.
No matter the outcome I know that this experience will change my life in a way I can't myself even wrap my head around yet. I suppose that's what all these nerves are. Pent up fear, fear that thing wont work out, ill hate it there, Or perhaps he will hate me. But whats life without a little risk right? Breaking free and allowing myself to feel again. I have had a rough couple of months, I have suffered a broken heart the first one I ever have, and I hope my last. For some reason this one guy makes me forget about all these things. Even when he is at his worst, and he is frustrating me beyond all comprehension I'm still drawn to him. Why? Cause he is not afraid to be human and hold back somethings, that I myself wished he would show more.
I'm a risk taker, always have been. Even after being screwed over in every way a person could think of. I still end up back where I was the same risk taker I was before. That's where me and him differ. He holds back, is unsure of himself and what result his actions will take. I will admit, I have overreacted a few times due to this. I took it as him not really giving frak about how I felt, and that he was just playing games and didn't really have true feelings like he says he does. I mean I don't see it or feel it. To me its just words and not only does that hurt, But confuses me beyond anything I have ever felt.
If I'm such an amazing guy, show that to me a little more you know? I'm not asking much just for your time and thoughts :D
But I'm done ranting! lol KOREA IN 42 DAYS! I can't wait!
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